For Mom

I talked with my mom on the phone today and we were catching up on what had been going on in our lives. She had a show open, her seasonal allergies are giving her hell, and she and my father just bought the 'for sale' sign that is now gracing the front yard of the house I grew up in. My parents also just celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary. As we were chatting, she asked if I had been going on any dates lately. What?

"Mom, have you not been reading my blog?" I asked.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well. No. I stopped reading it after I got to the part where the pants and the skirt had come off."

She's referring, of course, to the 'Up Date' on Date #3 wherein I mentioned that my guy friend and I had briefly crossed that border into 'Makeout Land' - but then decided we're better off in 'Just Friendsville'. According to my mother, from the way I worded things, it seemed as though we had gone all the way to the 'Shire of Shag'. *gasp*

Allow me to clarify to my mother, my grandmother (I didn't even know you owned a computer!), my priest, our family friend Agnes and anyone else my mother gave this blog to and who may now have a tainted and tawdry image of me as a result of that post.

The name of my blog is "Sexless in the City".

SEXLESS. Okay?? I'm looking for the real deal and will not be sidetracked by meaningless romps.

I love you, mom, and I would never do anything to shame or embarrass you. And if I did, well, hell! I certainly wouldn't blog it!

KIDDING.

Now, pardon me, while I readjust my halo.